


three (and a half) words

by thunderylee



Category: NewS (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Alternate Universe - Skating, F/F, Romance, this was better in my head, transgender character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-22 04:08:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16590575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderylee/pseuds/thunderylee
Summary: In the moments leading up to Kato Shigemi's final skate, Tegoshi Yuuko thinks back on their history as rivals and how they're not that different after all.





	three (and a half) words

**Author's Note:**

> i fought through the ssri to finish a bunch of wips yesterday and this is number three. started during the 2018 winter olympics where i plastered my ass in front of my 50 inch tv and watched figure skating for 2 straight weeks. for the non-obsessed, a triple axel is three and a half revolutions and a very difficult move.

Tegoshi Yuuko loves to fly. She used to think she should have been born as a bird, or an insect, or even a bat; anything that would allow her to spread her wings and soar through the air, feeling that amazing weightlessness while she defies gravity. 

Pairs figure skating is close enough. She could be lifted and thrown all day. Her partner, Massu, would periodically carry her on his shoulders before they ever even stepped foot on the ice. Not much taller than her, Massu doesn't look like he can lift anyone, let alone a full grown woman, but he has easily picked up Tegoshi and spun her around for several years now. 

This year, they finally made the Olympics. What had started off as a just another idol gig turned into a full-time career, as the announcers always like to remind everyone. Tegoshi and Massu, the pop duo when they were teenagers, who five years later had randomly appeared on a variety show with professional figure skaters. They were taught the basics and instantly fell in love with the sport, incorporating small pairs routines into their idol aesthetic until they surprised the entire world by qualifying for the last Olympics. 

It's a cute story, one Tegoshi likes much better than the other one the media tells. The other story focuses on what's in her pants and how she hadn't been allowed to represent Japan in the last Olympics because she refused to prove whether she's had gender confirmation surgery or not. She'd consented to the hormone testing, but she wouldn't support a transphobic regulation that declared that women were only considered women if they had a vagina.  

Being as Tegoshi rocks the same short skirts and leotards that the other female skaters wear, anyone with a pair of eyes can see whether Tegoshi's had surgery or not, but as she is famously quoted as saying, "Testicles don't make me a better skater. They just get in the way!" 

Caving to the pressure from the international LGBT community, along with the country of Japan, the Olympic committee caved and got rid of the surgery requirement for transgender participants. The biggest argument in their favor was that Tegoshi's birth gender actually gives them a  _disadvantage_ , as male bodies are traditionally larger and heavier than female bodies, but Massu's been lifting Tegoshi since before she was even on hormone replacement therapy. The main appeal of their idol figure-skating routines was that they were technically same-sex.  

It feels like an alternate universe to think about now, a distinct disassociation between Yuuya and Yuuko in her memory. Seeing old pictures and videos of them performing together, even listening to her old singing voice is like watching and hearing someone else. She likes to tell reporters that it was her "cis phase," but the truth is that she hid her true gender from everyone including herself until the first time she skated with Massu, when she felt more like a woman than when she would cross-dress for work. 

Meanwhile, Massu upholds that Tegoshi's still the same insufferable narcissist he's always known. She just has boobs now. 

Their competition is already over, and Tegoshi is relieved. While they'd held their own in the team event, they didn't do very well in pairs. The pressure had gotten the best of them, especially Tegoshi as the first transgender athlete in the Olympic games, but they were still happy to be a part of it. Despite being thirty and thirty-one years old, they have no plans to retire anytime soon. They might even have another Olympics in them. 

Massu had hopped a plane back to Japan after eating his weight in Korean barbeque, but Tegoshi's sticking around for the ladies' competition. She has a longtime rivalry with Kato Shigemi despite not actually being rivals. On and off the ice, Tegoshi and Shige bicker and butt heads, from when they were six years old until this morning on Instagram.  

The media likes to show pictures of Tegoshi and Shige as kids, Tegoshi in dresses while Shige would only wear jeans and T-shirts, painting their history like they were best friends. That may have been true when they were younger, but once Tegoshi became an idol and Shige started training seriously for figure-skating competitions, they grew apart and didn't interact again until Tegoshi and Massu started skating at the professional level.  

Now, they share a coach, a young man by the name of Koyama Keiichiro who's way too soft to handle their tempers. Koyama was famous back in the day as a single skater, but he'd hurt his back and started coaching instead. Shige, Tegoshi, and Massu have been with him for over ten years, the four of them practically living together in the months leading up to this Olympics.  

By the time they arrived in South Korea, Shige and Tegoshi were ready to kill each other. Tegoshi doesn't usually mind her, but Shige's been unnecessarily  _mean_  to her throughout this entire season. If Tegoshi didn't know any better, she'd think that Shige was purposely being hateful toward her because of who she is, but Shige had been her most outspoken supporter while she was challenging the Olympic committee's regulations. Shige would consistently say that she wanted Tegoshi to compete in the ladies' event so that they could finally find out who's the better skater. 

Tegoshi laughs every time she hears that, because Shige knows that Tegoshi can do a triple axel. The only reason there's not one in their program is because  _Massu_  can't do it. A couple times over the years, Tegoshi considered competing in the ladies' category just to go up against Shige, but single skating does nothing for her. It's the lifting and throws she likes, feeling like she's soaring over everyone else, spinning and doing elaborate acrobatics while balancing herself on Massu's shoulders or even just one hand.  

Usually teammates don't stand on the sidelines in the individual competitions, but Tegoshi's never been one to adhere to rules that don't make sense to her. She stands next to Koyama like she belongs there, and Shige doesn't pay her any mind as she stretches and practices her jumps in sneakers. Shige hadn't competed in the team event, saving all of her energy for the individual competition, her final skate as everyone dramatically puts it. 

Truth be told, it's not going to be the same without Shige around. She plans on retiring completely, hanging up her skates in exchange for seriously pursuing one of her other passions—writing. Shige has so many hobbies that Tegoshi doesn't know how she finds time to train amongst everything else she does. Shige likes to joke that not bothering with relationships gives her plenty of time to do everything she wants, but Tegoshi knows the truth—there simply hasn't been anyone that has been worthy of Shige's time. It would take a hell of a person to earn a fraction of the love Shige has for herself. 

Tegoshi understands that, to an extent. She loves being with other people in any way possible, but the thought of actually sharing her life with someone terrifies her. She already feels like she does this with Massu and Koyama. While she wouldn't have included Shige before, the thought of training without Shige leaves her feeling empty, like a large part of her existence is arguing with Shige over trivial things every day.  

She wonders if they'll keep in touch after the flight home, even if it's just to troll each other's social media accounts. It didn't hit her until  _right now_  that this is it; once Shige finishes her free skate, tonight, it's over. This entire time, Tegoshi has been making fun of everyone else for being so dramatic about it, and now she's thinking the same way. Only, instead of mourning a future without Shige skating, Tegoshi's mourning a future without Shige in it at all. 

"Yuuko-chan looks sad," Koyama observes, slinging an arm around her shoulders. "What are you sad about?" 

"Shige's leaving us," Tegoshi answers, because it sounds better than saying that Shige's leaving  _her_  specifically. "It won't be the same after this." 

Saying the words out loud has her threatening to tear up, but she maintains control. Shige's the one who still has to skate. Tegoshi doesn't need to distract her with her silly emotions. She didn't miss Shige for the years they were apart, anyway. What makes it any different now? 

She must be staring, because Shige pops out her earbuds and glares her down. "What?" 

"Your hair is ridiculous," Tegoshi says easily. "You look like the little mermaid." 

Shige rolls her eyes, reaching back to pull out the rubber band and send waves of bright red hair cascading down over her shoulders. "That's the point." 

She doesn't  _look_  like a mermaid, but Tegoshi doesn't remember the last time she's seen Shige in a skirt. Shige's more masculine than Tegoshi has ever been, promoting herself as a woman who defies gender roles by wearing pants and muscle shirts like the male skaters. Usually, she doesn't bother with her hair just like she doesn't bother with makeup or jewelry, but just this morning she had spent two hours of her precious preparation time at a hair salon.  

She's not in her costume yet, but Tegoshi knows it's the full-length black leotard with orange "flames" along the legs and arms. With her bright red hair, she will look like literal fire.  

Nobody expects Shige to medal, not even Shige herself. With the Russians in first and second after the short program with record-breaking scores, there's a group of eight skaters who could potentially get bronze. Shige is one of those skaters. She'd had a  _phenomenal_  short program, but this is the Olympics. She can only do so much, and many of these other skaters can do so much more. 

Looking at her now, and in a couple hours when she's all dressed and warming up on the ice, Tegoshi wouldn't think she's bothered one bit by the pressure. She's an Olympic veteran, after all. She's going to do her best for her country and then start her new life. Tegoshi wouldn't be surprised if Shige's mind is already filled with ideas and possibilities, all of the things she can do once she's not tied down to a demanding career.  

Tegoshi would be jealous if she wasn't so damn  _proud_. 

Shige's skating third in the last group, and Tegoshi might be more nervous than Shige is. The first two skaters fly by in a rush—both very good, but neither a contender for the bronze—and finally it's time for Shige to take the ice. Only, instead of taking the opportunity to get a few laps in while the previous skater's score is announced, she's standing in front of Tegoshi. 

It's not often that Shige wears skates and Tegoshi doesn't; Shige seems much taller than usual, and it would be intimidating if Tegoshi hasn't known her since before she was tough.  

"I need to say something before I skate, so don't interrupt me," Shige says firmly, and Tegoshi's so bewildered that she just nods. "I promised myself that I would tell you how I feel before I retired, and I'm running out of time." 

Tegoshi blinks. Is this bitch seriously about to tear into her right before her performance? Tegoshi's nerves hackle for a fight. 

"I'm not gonna stand here and say I've felt this way for twenty-five years, but it's been a long fucking time," Shige goes on, easily swearing like the lady she isn't, and Tegoshi watches her eyes soften uncharacteristically. "I don't actually know a life without you in it. I've been protecting you for so long that the concept of doing anything else seems like it's not me." 

"I don't need you to protect me," Tegoshi snaps. "I'm a grown ass woman. I can protect myself." 

Shige sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose, like she does every other time Tegoshi exasperates her. Only this time, Shige brought it onto herself, starting shit right before her  _Olympic free skate_. Tegoshi can't even feel guilty for distracting her at such an important moment, because it wasn't her fault (this time). 

"I love you, you idiot!" Shige screams, letting out the shrill in her voice that she usually forces down. "I'm in love with you." 

From the side, Koyama's eyes go wide. He'd been carefully approaching Shige, probably to remind her that she needs to go out on the ice, but he steps back at her tone and choice of words.  

Tegoshi starts to open her mouth, but Shige holds up a gloved hand to halt her. "I don't want you to respond. I just needed to tell you. I'll go skate now." 

She's gone in a flash of bright red. Tegoshi stares after her, the surprising words repeating in her head as the announcer calls Shige's name. The roaring applause from the audience is an accurate background to the crescendo of Tegoshi's heartbeat, and Tegoshi moves before her brain fully processes it, leaning over the edge of the railing as far as she can. 

"Kato Shigemi!" she yells right after Shige's name is announced, when the arena is deafeningly quiet. "I love you too!" 

The music starts. Tegoshi recognizes it as the new program Shige has been working on, the one she claimed wasn't going to be ready in time for the Olympics. It's dramatic and beat-heavy and Shige keeps up with the tempo, her bright-red hair whipping behind her as she spins and jumps on point. 

Tegoshi's been skating for long enough to predict jumps before they happen, and she's amazed to see Shige building up for a triple axel. There's no way she can do one, but Tegoshi finds herself crossing her fingers and hoping she manages to pull it off.  

The music stops, as if someone had cut the power, and Shige takes off . Tegoshi watches with wide eyes as Shige spins once, twice,  _three times_ , barely making another half revolution before she lands gracefully on one blade, the music booming back the instant she hits the ice. 

"Did you know she could do a triple axel?!" Tegoshi demands of Koyama, who's already tearing up.  

"I did," Koyama sobs. "She wanted to surprise you." 

Shige had literally just confessed her feelings to Tegoshi before she took the ice, and the triple axel is what shocks Tegoshi the most. She stares in awe at the remainder of the performance, during which Shige skates beautifully and passionately, a smile already on her face because she knows she killed it. 

She keeps her ending pose for two seconds before she falls to the ice, bringing both hands to her face. Tegoshi can hear her shrieking from the sidelines, and when her face can be seen again, she's sporting the biggest smile. 

The arena erupts in applause when her name is announced again, and she manages to compose herself enough to bow to all four sides. When she makes her way back to the sidelines, she nearly knocks over Koyama with the force of her hug, the pair of them jumping up and down. 

"I did it! I did it!" she's exclaiming, crying almost as much as he is, and Tegoshi's first thought is that it's a good thing Shige's not wearing any makeup.  

Tegoshi waits until Shige has her blade covers on before grabbing her by the arm. "What the hell, Shige?" 

"What the hell, yourself?" Shige barks, yanking her arm back. "Yelling that at me right before an Olympic performance. The entire fucking arena heard you!" 

"Good," Tegoshi says. "Then they won't be surprised when I do this." 

Shige's eyes widen as Tegoshi's hands go for her jaw, but she doesn't pull away when Tegoshi crushes their mouths together. It's the exact opposite, as Shige wraps both arms around Tegoshi's neck and hops up to do the same with her legs around Tegoshi's waist. Tegoshi manages to hold her up by the thighs, the flames of Shige's costume whipping against her arms, but actually kissing Shige is too distracting and she only makes it until she's about to lose her balance before urging Shige back down and taking her into her arms properly. 

'Okay, you two," Koyama says, urging Shige back by the shoulder, and Tegoshi wonders if he knew about this too. "Let's go find out Shige-chan's score." 

Tegoshi joins them in the Kiss and Cry like she belongs there, laughing at the irony of the name as she wipes the lipstick off of Shige's mouth courtesy of herself. Shige laces their fingers together as they wait for the scores, during which Tegoshi glances at her phone and finds several messages, including a very confused one from Massu. 

"Looks like that got on TV," she says in amusement. "I hope you're ready to become Japan's favorite lesbian." 

Shige directs intense eyes right into Tegoshi's. "I hope you're ready to be my woman." 

A warmth spreads out through Tegoshi's body, but she gets as far as nuzzling Shige's shoulder before the score is announced. She almost doesn't believe her ears at first, because she's only seen free skate scores that high for Russian skaters, but Shige's screaming and bouncing and the scoreboard shows her in first place with three skaters left. 

She disappears to go to the medalist room for now, and Tegoshi hangs back to watch the last three routines with Koyama. "Do you think she'll medal?" Tegoshi asks. 

Koyama shrugs. "I honestly don't know." 

Tegoshi frowns as one of the Russians takes the ice. The last three are the top three after the short program, and one of them would seriously need to mess up for Shige to get on the podium. Tegoshi doesn't believe in wishing anyone ill, but she watches their jumps like a hawk, looking for anything out of place. 

They're perfect. Shige's bumped down to silver, then bronze, and finally down to fourth place after the last skater gets her scores. Tegoshi's angry at the scoring system because  _nobody_  else did a triple axel, but Shige's all smiles when she returns to them, scooping them both up in her arms like she'd actually medaled. 

"Fourth place!" she's crying. "I'm so happy!" 

Tegoshi smiles despite herself and hugs Shige back. "I'm proud of you, even if you lied to me about being able to do a triple axel." 

"That's only the third time I've landed one," Shige says, sounding surprised about it herself. "I wasn't going to do it, but after confessing to you, I felt like I could do anything." 

She looks over at Tegoshi with a vulnerability in her eyes that Tegoshi hasn't seen before, and Tegoshi notices how  _scared_  she looks.

Naturally, that’s when a reporter shoves a microphone in Shige’s face, a familiar Japanese voice addressing her properly after weeks of hearing her name butchered by English speakers.

“Kato Shigemi, who _just_ missed out on an Olympic medal on her final skate, how do you feel?” the reporter asks briskly, frowning like this was upsetting news.

Shige glances over to Tegoshi, who recognizes the familiar defiance in Shige’s eyes as the special brand of affection it’s been the whole time, and lifts the corners of her lips in a smirk.

“Like I won gold,” she answers, and Tegoshi grins back.


End file.
